Raise your hand if you’ve ever waited for a boss, a colleague, or a client to acknowledge your hard work. Maybe you stayed late on a project, hoping someone would notice. Maybe you crushed a presentation, but when no one said, “Great job!” you started second-guessing yourself.

You’re not alone. Many of us look to others to validate our worth at work.

The truth? You don’t need someone else’s praise to know you’re doing great work.

Why We Seek External Validation

It’s natural to want reassurance. We all crave belonging and recognition. But when our confidence hinges on others’ opinions, we ride an emotional rollercoaster—feeling amazing when praised and doubting ourselves when silence follows.

How to Break the Cycle and Validate Yourself

Recognize Your Achievements

Pause and acknowledge your own progress. Keep a journal of wins—big or small. If you handled a tough conversation well or met a deadline under pressure, that’s worth celebrating.

Set Your Own Standards for Success

Instead of waiting for feedback, define what success looks like for you. Ask yourself: “Did I do my best? Did I grow? Did I align with my values?” Those are the real measures that matter.

Reframe the Silence

No feedback doesn’t mean bad feedback. People are busy, and sometimes, recognition slips through the cracks. Instead of assuming the worst, remind yourself: “My work is valuable, even if it’s not always acknowledged.”

Validate Others

Ironically, one of the best ways to stop seeking external validation is to give it. When you recognize others, you shift from needing approval to appreciating those around you—and that energy is contagious.

Own Your Worth

Your value isn’t tied to applause. It’s in the effort, the impact, and the growth you create every day. So, the next time you’re tempted to look outward for validation, pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself…

Have you struggled with self-validation at work? I’d love to hear how you’re working through it!

Wishing you the best!