The words we say to ourselves and others make a difference.

I recently started volunteering to coach a 7th-grade girls’ volleyball team.  One of my players was frustrated because she could not get any of her serves over the net.

“I can’t serve!” she declared.  She tried again, and the ball went into the net.

“See, I can’t serve!” she grumbled while chasing the ball to try again.

I could have coached her on her form, but instead, I decided to coach her on her words.

I asked her, “What did you do well?”  She struggled to answer but eventually said, “I hit the ball.”

I asked her, “What did you learn from that last serve?” She replied, “I need more height and power.”

Then I asked, “What words do you need to say to yourself that will help you believe that you CAN serve?”  She came up with, “I’m getting better, and I CAN do this!”

She continued practicing, and her balls continued to fall short or go into the net.

But instead of complaining, she began celebrating her progress after each serve.  Her words changed to:

• “That serve was better than the last one!”
• “I need to get a little more height next time!”
• “That one came so close. I’m going to make this next one!”

Instead of focusing on what she was doing wrong, she began focusing on WHAT SHE WAS DOING RIGHT and WHAT SHE WAS LEARNING after each attempt.

Throughout the practice, I never corrected her form.  She figured out the changes that she needed to make.

She evaluated her results, identified what was working well and what adjustments to make.

At the end of practice, I measured her serve accuracy.  She went from 0% to 70% serve accuracy in a short 90-minute practice.

She left the gym proud of herself and filled with confidence in her abilities.

Did I mention that this is the first time she has played volleyball?

Words matter.

What do you need your inner voice to tell you?

Wishing you the best!