Early in my career, I worked in a male-dominated field. I wanted to lead, influence, and have a positive impact. I tried to convey confidence and authority. I wanted to have a voice and be respected for my opinions.

And I discovered that my body language was working against me!

So, I spent some time learning how to make a few adjustments and was amazed at the difference it made!

Head Nodding

Women tend to nod their heads when listening to others speak. They intend to convey that they are listening and encourage the other person to continue speaking. The “I’m listening” message is accurately received when they speak with another woman. However, men tend to interpret this head nod as agreement with what they are saying, making it more difficult to convey an alternative viewpoint. 

Adjustment Tip: Pay attention when you are listening to someone. Are you nodding your head? It’s ok to nod when you agree. If you disagree, stop nodding and intentionally use a facial expression (or interrupt them) to cue the speaker that you have a different opinion.

Head Tilts

Like head nodding, women tend to tilt their heads to convey they are listening. However, a head tilt can be interpreted as submissive and send the message that you are giving the other person authority over you or that you are lacking confidence. 

Adjustment Tip: Pay attention to your posture when engaged in a conversation. Stand or sit up straight, keep your head straight and maintain eye contact when listening. Remember, if it’s a virtual meeting, look at the camera to maintain eye contact.

Rapid Blinking

Women tend to blink their eyes more rapidly when nervous or feeling threatened. This can sometimes be interpreted as attraction or flirting. It can also reveal low self-confidence.

Adjustment Tip: Notice when you feel nervous and scan your body for signals that might be giving this away. Take a deep breath to calm your nerves and focus on maintaining eye contact without too much blinking. Also, adjust your posture to make yourself bigger and take up more space to help increase your confidence.

Posture

Women sometimes shrink themselves, trying to take up as little space as possible. They may be doing it out of politeness to give others space or because they are not confident. They will pull in their arms and legs, slouch, or scoot their chair to give others more space. This body language indicates submissiveness.

Adjustment Tip: Work towards taking up more space and owning your space in the room. Pull your shoulders back, stand or sit tall, widen your stance, hold your head high, and put your arms on the table if you’re seated. 

Take advantage of virtual meetings to turn your camera on and notice the body language you convey during a meeting. I thought I had mastered these tips years ago and realized I had slipped back into old habits when I saw myself on camera!

Wishing you the best!