Imagine you have a great idea you want to share in a meeting, but that dominant “know-it-all” colleague takes over the conversation. 

Can you hear my eyes rolling?

When you finally share your idea, that same person immediately dismisses it and redirects the conversation to share his point of view. 

If you could see my face now, you’d know I’m disgusted by this behavior.

Let’s face it, we all have to deal with those kinds of people.

And if you’re not in a position to give them constructive feedback and hold them accountable to do better, it can be very frustrating.

So, how can you change the dynamic when the only behavior you can control is your own? 

Here’s a strategy that has worked well for me.

Know the Room

Before the meeting, think about who will be in the room and what dynamics you will likely encounter. 

• Who is likely to dominate the conversation? 
• Who might object to your idea?
• Who might support and advocate for your idea?
• Who is great at influencing others?

Pre-Sell to Supporters

As much as I hate the extra effort involved, pre-selling your idea is an excellent strategy. It’s the proverbial “meeting before the meeting” approach to influence. Have a conversation with likely supporters and influencers. Get them curious and interested in your idea, and then discuss the challenges you anticipate during the meeting. Ask them to support you by speaking up and adding their voice to yours.   

Research Potential Objections

I’ve also found having conversations with those likely to object to the idea helpful. I approach these conversations by saying, “I have an idea that’s not fully formed yet, and I’d like your help thinking about it from a different perspective.” You might be concerned that this will fuel the fire and help them prepare to shut you down during the meeting. In my experience, this approach has the opposite effect. For me, it has strengthened relationships and increased my credibility by seeking their input, listening to their concerns, and coming prepared to address them. In fact, in some of these conversations, we worked through their concerns together, and they became my biggest and most vocal supporters. 

Present with Passion

If you demonstrate passion and conviction when sharing your idea, people are more likely to listen to you. Make eye contact (look into your camera for virtual meetings), sit up straight, and use open and inviting gestures. Back up your idea with facts and evidence. Tap into everyone’s passion by articulating how your idea supports the organization’s mission, vision, and goals.

Actively Listen

This can be difficult to do, especially if someone’s behavior or contradictory viewpoints trigger you. Seek to understand their perspective and what might contribute to their behavior. Find at least one thing you agree with and can build upon. I refer to this as my “YES-AND” strategy. For example, assume the other person is objecting based on the expense involved with your idea. You might acknowledge that “YES” there is an extra expense involved, “AND” build on that common ground with ideas for funding the proposal.

Respectfully Interrupt

If someone dominates the conversation and repeats themselves, respectfully interrupt them to move it forward. You might say something like, “Thank you for sharing. If I understand you correctly, your concerns are (summarize what you’ve heard). To keep us on track with our agenda, I’d like to invite others to weigh in unless you have additional concerns you haven’t yet mentioned.” This approach acknowledges that you have actively listened to their viewpoint and allows you to engage others in the room.

We’ve all experienced the frustration of our ideas being dismissed and our voices drowned out. But remember, change begins with you. Try out these strategies, and you’ll find yourself not just surviving but thriving during those conversations. So, keep those eye-rolls in check and let your ideas shine!

Wishing you the best!